My novel

I have started writing again. Does anyone recall a novel-in-progress I dubbed "Twenty Four?" I have decided to rewrite it- it is only four chapters, fyi. I am reading over it while I write this post and it isn't too bad. Some places would need some touching up to make them better, but I'm restarting. I just have to rephrase it, in a way, for my rewrite, and change a few (major) details. If anyone wants to read a part of my story- the original or the rewrite once I get it underway- please let me know and I'll gladly post it. I'm currently 607 words into the rewrite, while there are...over 4,300 words in the original so far.

Twenty Four: Random Excerpts

"His echoing footsteps fell fast and short- a staccato beat ricocheted throughout the attic as he climbed higher and higher, until he could look out of the window and see the bustling city below. From his prison he could see Oakhill Street directly to the west. Amidst the commotion of the city stood a tall, gothic mansion. Gathered before its doors were a group of black-clad men- one of whom bore a striking resemblance to the hunch-backed leader from two weeks ago, even from such a distance. Suddenly Jay knew what the code on the paper he’d found meant. The realization came with a churning, sickly feeling in his gut, the kind of unexplainable pain that is commonly found among criminals."

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"In a darkened chamber high in the third tower, a figure was slumped on the ground. It stirred for a moment, and the guard worried that it might wake, but then it lay still. Five hours were left until he would be needed. The guard settled onto the ground across the room from the figure, and slept. Above them, four windows let in what little light there was. Had anyone bothered to look out of them, a familiar sight would have met their eye: Alemany Middle School, with one grimy crusted window high above all the others. "

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 "Guards are notorious for sleeping through half of their shifts. At least, the one slumped against the door of Jay’s prison was. Beneath the trademark navy blue cap, a drip of drool slid down the guard’s chin and neck. A ridiculous snore issued from his flared nostrils. Jay crept around the sleeping beauty, a silent snicker glued on his face. His captors had made it very easy for him to escape."

©Copyright Kiki O, 2009
(ish but not really, just because I don't feel like trying to publish a book that some random stranger already did because of some excerpts he found on the Internet)

I Had NO Clue...

 So before anyone thinks that I mean, a), I had no clue that I stink like a walrus(I do not stink and neither does a walrus), b), that it is hard to act sophisticated when you trip over your own feet, or c), that I only need to get two more things approved for science fair, let me explain. Okay, fine, b and c are true. But that's not what I meant. Oof I digress. Anyhoo, I had no clue that.... I actually write better than a random toddler that you pick off any random street in any random middle-of-nowhere kind of random place. (Could you say I'm random? But I digress...) Remember my "novel" Twenty Four(I actually think I'll need a better title. Mimi suggested Out of Time, but I'm not sure yet.)? Well, I haven't looked at what I've got written for almost a month, and when I read it today I was surprised that my writing was actually pretty good. Well, not phenomenal, like Kirsten Miller's, but better than the suspense-less, drab, not-making sense junk I'd always deemed it to be. Just like my teacher says, I think my work is worse than it really is.
Now I've gotta go read some other stuff. Wait, two more things.
1. Have any of you read THE HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins? If not, you are doing yourself a real displeasure. You really should. Also the second book, CATCHING FIRE, which I have not been fortunate enough to get my hands on yet.
2. Has anyone read Edgar Allan Poe's short story, "The Pit and the Pendulum?" The one where the guy is imprisoned in a dungeon with(you guessed it) a pit and a pendulum and it happens during the Spanish Inquisition? If yes, then good. If not, then bear with me. Yesterday on our evaluation(my teacher's fancy way of saying test) question number seven read, "How is a fish like a can of condensed milk?" And I thought, how does this have anything to do with pits or pendulums or the actual story? And so our teacher started walking around the room, checking out everyone's answers for number 7, and he said "no" for each one. Well by the end of the period he had everyone stumped and he collected the papers with my number seven answer being only, "A fish is like a can of condensed milk because." As soon as the last paper was in his hand, he said, "The answer to number 7 was..." then he paused, "that neither can ride a bicycle."
I'll leave you to ponder that and whether number seven will count for the grade. I can only hope not.

Thanks SOOOO much Mimi!!!

Last night I e-mailed Mimi(my BFF and fellow Blogger) the first chapter of Twenty Four (my current novel). I was NOT expecting the kind of reaction I got, at all! Instead of the standard, "yah, it's great, sure, it's ok" routine I'd been expecting I saw countless, endless praise. (OMG! It sounds like it was written by a well-experienced author! Kiki! Better than Agatha Christie{my edit: it's not that good, but I can see the comparison}! So suspenseful and {another one of my edits: this is my favorite part, what comes next} page scrolling!)

I swear I nearly fainted. Ok, maybe not fainted but that lavish praise definetely inspired me. Now I just can't wait to see some of Mimi's own book. A newer update about her book is here.

Anyhoo (I love saying that... so catchy! Like "coinky dink." It's a BFF thing), if any of my followers/ readers want to see some of the first chapter, I'll consider posting some(or all) of it. Just leave a comment or send me a line(ha ha.. email me) at urbanbirding202@gmail.com.

Twenty Four

Twenty Four is a novel I am currently working on. That may or may not be the final title, but at the moment it seems like a good fit.

Synopsis: Jay LeBord has stumbled upon a secret meeting of elite planners, who plot to annihilate the world. They launch highly secretive missiles that will make contact in twenty four hours. And Jay is the only outsider who knows of this plan. Now Jay must track down the insane planner of the attack and find a way to stop the missiles headed towards the earth before it’s too late. Seconds are ticking. Time is flying. The madness must be stopped.

As you may remember it was on that list of 5 novel ideas that I asked about. Mostly everone liked it and its one of my favorites so its my top priority, followed by the ancient monster thing. If you want to see that post again, it can be found here.

Later on I will post the prologue of the story, so far I'm liking it. I have an idea to alternate chapters between Jay's point of view and the bad guy's, but it is in third person. How does that sound? I'm not sure whether it will work out for me or for the story yet, I'm on the first chapter only.